Yesterday, as I was painting the bed that will be going in our son's room (and it's looking really good, if I do say so myself) I was pondering things.
For instance, why have people (some people, not all) on Pinterest gotten so mean? I was thinking specifically of a photo of a room in my house that someone had pinned a few months ago, with an aside that they'd just have to change something in the room.
I'll admit it. I'm thin skinned, and it hurt my feelings. Why put that comment on there at all? Did this woman really think she'd forget what she didn't like about the room? I've even seen pins of perfectly nice rooms with captions underneath saying things like "stupid and ugly" or "get rid of that lamp!" Really? Can't some things just be left unsaid?
There's usually some real nastiness under every photo of Tim Tebow. I have no opinions on him one way or another, but apparently a lot of people do.
I began a rant in my head.
"He's not your favorite? Then move on.
You don't like that purse/necklace/bathroom/dress/person?
Then move on. Being mean doesn't make you more intelligent. It doesn't mean you have better taste...." And on and on.
So there I was, paintbrush in hand, feeling so morally superior to the catty pinners,
and I started thinking about the photo I put in yesterday's post. Of the big haired girls. I had just assumed they were wearing wigs for some sort of performance. But what if they weren't? I was making fun of them and it wasn't nice. It was one of those "Hello pot, this is Kettle. You're black!" moments.
So I removed the photo.
The whole hair thing reminded me of something that happened to me as a new mom. We had no money, and I hadn't had my hair cut in a long time. I couldn't even afford hairspray. (that's what happens when you get married and have 2 babies before you're 21. Kids, if you're reading this~don't do that!)I was doing the best I could with it, but it really was kind of a mess and I was self conscious about it. One day (in a public restroom) a group of girls made some mean remarks about my hair. They left the room laughing; I left several minutes later fighting back tears.
I was doing the best I could at the time.
Maybe those girls in the photo were just doing the best they could at the time, too. Or maybe they were in costume. I have no way of knowing. But some things should be left unsaid.
Which leads me to my next subject. If any of you are still reading. If you're like me, you gave up a few paragraphs ago.
My word for the year.
It's think.
Yes.
Think.
Which leads me to my next subject. If any of you are still reading. If you're like me, you gave up a few paragraphs ago.
My word for the year.
It's think.
Yes.
Think.
Think things through.
Think of others.
Think before I act.
Think before I form an opinion.
Think before I hit "publish" or "send".
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being some of the nicest readers in the whole blogosphere!
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31 comments:
What a good post..I totally agree..why be mean..there is no
human value in that..if you don't like it..don't pin it..all of our tastes don't have to be the same..oh my goodness if it was...what a boring place it would be! I just feel really sad for people that live such a small, narrow minded, un- inspired life! ..thanks for posting this! Looking forward to seeing the completed photo of the bed!
have a happy day!
Xo
why is it sooo hard to accept criticism--in any form? I had a similar experience--my pinwheel dress pinned and the comment "but with smaller pinwheels" put on.
:(
There's not truly anything *offensive* about it...but did you really think I wouldn't see it?
But then I think maybe I need a stiffer spine and it's just me....ah, who knows.
I just know your big haired ladies, if they could see that Photo now, would probably be laughing at it too. And that makes a difference to me.
Great post! Chin up and Poo to all the Negative Nellies in the world. Bitter, jealous people have sad little lives. It's the positive ones that have the most fulfilling and rewarding ones. Focus on the good and feel sorry for those who can't! By the way, I look forward to all your great pics, awesome posts, and fantastic ideas! Cheers
Oh I LOVE that 'THINK" phrase! Our pastor preached 4 WEEKS on that phrase! (see, so one blog post won't hurt us a BIT..maybe even HELP!) When I have someone who pops my balloon, I chalk it up to THEM having the problem. Too bad their mommas didn't teach them 'if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all' like mine did. Carry on and chin up! LOVE YOUR BLOG!
Amen! I too believe that kindness counts.
It goes back to the old adage that if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all.
I chalk it up to these individuals were either not raised right or can only feel good about themselves if they tear someone else down.
Either way, I feel sorry for them having to go through life so mean.
So try looking at it like that. It sure helps my thin skinned self. :)
I do find it amazing how people can be mean and catty. I read a post recently from a blogger that quoted a few words from nasty comments or e-mails and I could believe it. What's wrong with people??
Think is a great word. I love the acronym too. I should print it and frame it.
BTW, if I would have been in the room with you and them mean hair girls, I would have kicked their butt for you!!
i loved this post and agree. i don't always internally love everything, but i certainly don't need to express all my deepest inner thoughts if it is at the expense of someone else... who does that do any good to?
my firm belief is when you bad mouth or speak negatively, it reflects not on your subject, but on you as a person.
Well, you know I read, and agree, with every word. I hate people that do things in a mean spirit. Now, I will say that my way of interacting is to often make FUN of someone, or something (including myself) but I never do it with the intent of hurting someone's feelings or making them feel bad. I hope I don't do that.
I have developed a pretty thick skin living with this family that I have BUT they are funny...and tease...but they are NOT mean.
THINK is a great acronym. LOVE IT! You are such a good soul, Suzann- and I love ya- xo Diana
I just don't understand folks sometimes.... why put something mean and nasty as a comment on a blog OR pin something on Pinterest that you don't like? I agree with so many of your comments above, especially the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"...
And teenage girls? They certainly can live up to the "Mean Girls" movie stereotype which is really too bad. I'd like to believe that most if not all of those girls look back at that time in their lives and cringe a bit at their behavior!
~Chris
Well first of all, I do a whole lot of pondering when I paint too! And I totally agree with you. I just don't get it. Why do people feel the need to be mean? We need to be supportive and build each other up, not tear each other down. And if you don't agree with someone or something, that's fine.Life would be pretty boring if we were all exactly the same. But there's no need to make a negative comment and make people feel bad. I didn't know that there were any negative comments on pinterest and I'm amazed that people would even think to do that. I see pinterest as being all about inspiration. And even in everyday life, I am amazed by the way people speak to each other in such negative ways. You picked a great word Suzanne! We all need to think before we speak and act! Thanks so much for sharing!
I could not agree more! I am finding lately the internet, blogs, facebook, twitter, etc has given people free reign to just tear each other apart. It saddens me to no end. i guess people feel safe behind their computer keyboard and feel it's ok to say whatever they want. I've always gone by the "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" and i think back in the day (you know just a few years ago) that most people adhered to this. But now, since there's no repercussions (in other words saying rotten, mean or just plan stupid things to a complete strangers ONLINE, rather than to their face) I have since stopped going on the Blogs and facebook pages that have no moderators. Blogs are about inspiration, fun, entertainment and encouragement, not trying to tear another person down. And as far as i'm concerned, just having a blog where you share your ideas, projects and thoughts is a big thing, not everyone could do that. Not everyone could put themselves out there. So please pat yourself on the back and as hard as it may be, try to ignore all those rude and nasty (and perhaps jealous) people :)
Great post! Yes, kindness matters. I don't get the mean thing on Pinterest at all. I thought it was supposed to be a place for inspiration, not nastyness. Sigh . . . It seems the internet really doesn't bring out the best in everyone. Hang in there -- you do great stuff! I just try to remind myself that when people "need" to say nasty things, it's on them and shows far more about their soul than mine. {{hugs}}
I've always been one of the "hyper-sensitive" people...something just little could cause me a world of hurt, when it was something so insignificant to the other person. I've, thankfully, developed a bit thicker skin, but it has made me a lot more aware of how I treat others. I think the thing to remember with criticism, is that if you, and everyone else, liked everything EXACTLY the same, then there would be no differences in peoples' looks, dress, home, etc. That said, there are nicer ways to phrase that criticism than I see. And I love your word...because a little thought (and perhaps a little empathy) before a mouth is opened, or a comment published is needed!
I've has that happen to me. Someone pinned a card I made and said something like it being too busy but they could change that. Then why pin it? I admit I laughed. I have pretty thick skin and it's not often anything someone says to or about me will bother me.. They just don't matter enough to me to let it. I feel sad for those people and imagine they don't have nearly as happy of a life that they wish they did.
I'm curious if a photos is removed from a blog that had a nasty pin would the picture be removed from Pinterest. Probably not hey?
I don't have a Pinterest account, and honestly don't have the time to browse, so I don't want to get hooked...yet. BUT, somehow I came across a Pinterest photo from MY blog with a nasty remark attached. I know exactly how you felt. Like the movie "Mean Girls". I'm sure it was meant to be funny, but people have to remember this open to the public! Be nice.
Great post. I recently noticed the same thing on pinterest. I posted this picture of a little girl dressed in this wild pink tulle ball gown with the comment, "Fun with tulle" in my crafts section with the idea of making the dress for my 2.5 year old niece to play dress up... she LOVES princess-ballerina-type stuff and this was both. Anyway, this total witch with no sense of fun or imagination, and who I was surprised to say was in her mid to late 50's or 60's from her photograph and should have known better, wrote the comment "Why?" under my post. It really bothered me and still does. Now since then, many many people have re-posted, and I've gotten more positive feedback from it than negative, but I'm still surprised by how much that's bothered me and continues to. Why wouldn't she just ignore it? In fact, it reminds me of something my mother used to say to me when I said mean things to my little brother, "For every negative thing you say to someone it takes 100 positive things to make it right again." Now, like you, I'm often up on my soapbox, and finding when I'm pointing the finger at others there are always three pointing back at me... and that doesn't feel good. I like your word for the year, and I "think" I'll use it myself. Thanks for the thoughtful post!
Great post Suzanne! I don't know why people have to be so mean. You know another place they are mean? Apt Therapy. When things are posted there, it's like the meanest people in the world have to put in their two cents. go figure!
I missed your post yesterday, but I'm sure you meant no harm.
Working on projects (ie painting etc) gives us a lot of time to reflect, doesn't it?
LOVE your word of the year. That poster, I have seen it all over pinterest, but couldn't find the original source. It's so wonderful!
take care!
gail
I love your cubbies and I like them even better with those great little numbers on them!
Susan (Homeroad)
Thank you for your great post! I too don't know why people have to be so mean. I have thin skin too and know things shouldn't hurt my feelings but they do. Someone pinned a chair that I recovered and added a comment how annoying it was that I used the fabric side to side instead of up and down. oooookkkk. So rude and it hurt. I just hope I never make someone feel that way because of something I said. I like your word of the year and if we all used "think" more often this world would be a better place!!
So true. One of the things I liked about Pinterest in the beginning was that everyone seemed to be so positive and it was a happy thing to participate in. Then, well, you know . . .
I love your word and the reasons you chose it. We could all stop and think a bit more before we say something!
I agree with Sara S. I think my skin has thickened a bit from years ago. I don't mind criticism as long as it's worked nicely!
You couldn't be more right! {and by the way... I have NEVER looked at a photo of your home and thought it wasn't 100% perfect!} It really is too bad that people feel the need to be so hurtful when we have such a great power within ourselves to uplift others! I saw a quote the other day that said 'rudeness is the weak person's immitation of strength' and it couldn't be more right! Truly stron and amazing people uplift others. So.... good job of having an uplifting blog. It is always fun to look at :)
{ kristen }
ellaclaireblog.blogspot.com
Suzanne,
This is a great thought provoking post. Your THINK acronym is awesome and one I will also take to heart. I think people just feel so anonymous on sites like pinterest that they feel they don't have to use their manners. Funny, I get all profound too when I'm painting!
So glad you took the time to share yours. I always forget my profound thoughts as soon as I move on to the next task. ;)
Ignorant. That should be your next word of the day. I love your blog, your projects, and the fact that you're a fellow Idahoan! I have the hide of an elephant, nothing really bothers me. I'd rather be like you.
My word of the year is HUMILITY, but right under it is the word THINK.
Thanks for the reminder. And yes, it's unthinkable that people can't be kind. Remember what our moms said:
"If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all."
Duh.
Is it so much effort to be kind??
{and i'm preachin to myself here…}
You rock, my dear.
People really kill me sometimes, there is so much hurt in this world why do they have to add to it! When that happens to me I just figure that those people need to talk to God:) I put my home on there too and it took a while for me to put myself out there but I did it, my mantra for this year is "Just Do It" and I did!
Great post!
What an awesome post Suzanne! I love this. Nice definitely STILL matters, I just wonder sometimes if we taught it to our children enough.
Sometimes people just don't think and then regret it later. I know that I have been pinning away and came across a picture and thought 'really?' but have the manners not to write it down. There are some crazy things out there:) but I never know if they were meant to be a joke or not, so I would never comment on them. Course the ones I'm referring to HAVE to be meant as jokes, cause they are so screaming funny! I think it's so sad that someone would comment about someone's DIY or home decor or style.
GREAT post!!!
hugs...
Great post Suzanne. I so agree with the move on thing, why spread hate?
I'm so sorry that happened. I have enjoyed pinterest but will watch for mean comments. I know you can send a pin to their team that is one that needs to be deleted.
Amen
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